When I first had Levi, I did two different posts with an Honest Look at Motherhood. My first post was about the first months of mommyhood. In it, I gave a real and honest perspective about being a new mom. I wrote the second post after I had gone back to working full time as a school teacher. These two posts were big hits on my blog, but I didn’t follow up and write another one. I have a unique perspective in the fact that I went from working full-time at a job to working-at-home full time. Most mom’s who quit their jobs to be a stay-at-home-mom don’t already have a business in place to step right into. Most decide later to start a business or join a company while working at home. Well, since staying home with Levi last year, I’ve had 15 months of experience at being a work-at-home mom, so I figured it was time for a new Honest Look at Motherhood post!
Being a business owner and mom is a different beast all together. Please hear me that I am not saying anything despairingly to stay-at-home moms, but this post is focused on work-at-home-mom’s who either own a business or work at-home for another business. Your time is divided at home between working a job and taking care of their child(ren).
1) Mom Guilt is Legit
If you’ve been a work-at-home-mom for any given time, you know that mom guilt is just as legit as working-mom-guilt. I had it when I worked full time as a school teacher. I wasn’t spending my days with him and felt bad that I was working when I wanted to be home with him. Now that I am a work-at-home-mom, I have a different kind of guilt. I am here with him full-time, but I don’t spend my time with him full-time. I have to work and some days he doesn’t get much of my attention. Some days he watches too much TV. Some days if he’s content after waking up, he gets left in his crib for a little while. I try not to feel guilty about it, but sometimes that guilt creeps in.
2) Work Life Balance is Hard
I am soooo thankful that I have my business. I love getting to serve my clients and do what I love. I also love that I have an outlet and something to do besides just being mom. Hear me again, there is nothing wrong with that; it’s just my personality needs something else to do, an outlet. I was very blessed to already have my business established and running when I left my full-time job to stay at home with Levi; but if I ever felt like I was spending more time on my business than I was with him, I would cut back or quit. While I love my business, he is my priority.
3) Work While Kids Sleep
Easier said than done, right? Golly, some days all I want to do is curl up and take a nap while he sleeps; and some days I do just that. I need some mid-day rest or mental break. But nap time and after bedtime is when I get most of my work done. I don’t have him to distract me. I can edit or blog or whatever I need to do… sometimes clean or cook. 😉 My biggest thing, however, is also making sure I make time for Joshua. The last thing I want to do is spend all evening every evening working and ignoring him. There are some nights where I have to get things done and he will work in his office or play some video games; but even though I say “work while the kids sleep,” I also say “make sure you make time for hubby.”
4) Try and Do a Mom Swap
I do this every now and then with a mom friend of mine who lives down the road. I will take her son for a couple of hours while she goes to her part-time job and she will take Levi for me when I have a client meeting or photo shoot. We don’t pay each other and we don’t keep track of how many times we watch each other’s kids, we just help each other out and watch each other’s kids. This is great to get things done or make those appointments that you need to make without the kiddos around. I am also very blessed to have one day a week where my father-in-law comes and watches Levi for me. I get a whole day of uninterrupted time to work… yet somehow those days fly by and I never seem to get as much done as I had hoped! 🙂
5) Set a Day to Do No Work
The same way that I have a workday each week, I try really hard to have one day a week where I do not do any work while Levi is around. This isn’t a weekend day, but a weekday. We take the morning to go to the park, go on a walk, run some errands, go to lunch together, or just play at home. I make sure to do the same in the afternoon once he’s up from his nap. I might work during his nap, but I really make sure not to work while he’s up.
6) Spend Intentional Time with the Kid(s)
I make sure to read books with Levi and play with the toys he likes to play with. I make my time very intentional and focused with him. We do a lot of wrestling and chasing each other around the house. With working at home, it is easy to get lost in work and just let the kids play on their own. I make sure to play WITH Levi and enjoy him. I know this is an obvious one, but something I try to be intentional about.
7) TV Won’t Mush Their Brains
I have to tell myself that it’s okay for him to watch TV and it won’t ruin him if he spends a couple of hours one day watching “Thomas and Friends”. Kid is straight up obsessed with Thomas. I always feel guilty about having him watch it, but some days I just HAVE to get some stuff done. He is happy when “TT” is on (as he calls it), so if I have a deadline or just a TON to do, we’ll turn on a Thomas movie and it may or may not sometimes run two or even three times in a row… if I’m just being completely honest here! He’s not sitting and watching it the whole time it’s on, but it’s definitely there for him to pay attention to while he’s playing with his toys.
8) Some Days Can Be Overwhelming
You know this. Some days are just plain overwhelming. Like, I-need-my-husband-home-now overwhelming. The kid(s) are just fussy, all they want is you or they don’t want you, but they can’t express what they really want. Crying toddler, fussy kid who won’t take a nap, picky eater who throws food on the floor, child gets into the toothpaste and wipes it all over the house, kid home from school with the stomach bug… all while you have a deadline of some sort looming. On those days, all you want to do is curl up into a ball and scream. I really just have to step away from work and sometimes from Levi and just take a few minutes to myself. If that’s going to the bathroom to pray or go to my bedroom to read a few quick verses from my Bible, or sneak around the corner to eat a piece of chocolate so that he doesn’t see me and ask for it it too, I will do that. Days will be overwhelming and they do suck sometimes; but just remember “this too shall pass”; and while it’s hard now, they are only young once, so try and enjoy it as much as you can, even through all of the screaming and crying and the deadlines.
9) It’s Okay to Share Your Kids
I understand many people won’t agree with me on this one, but I love sharing pictures of Littleman on the blog. I don’t do it often, but I enjoy sharing with y’all the growth of my little boy in my Lessons from Levi series that I do once every month or so. I also have an open account on Instagram so that people can follow me without having to be approved. I post pictures of Levi on there as well, less than I used to; but I still post pictures of him. I like that my clients and followers not only get to see the business side of me, but see my personal side as well. I feel like it makes me more relatable and personable to them. I can’t tell you how many of my clients tell me how much they love Levi even though they have never met him!
10) You’re Doing Great
If you don’t hear it enough, you’re doing great, Mama! You kids are being fed, they are clothed, they are learning, and they love you. Just this week, Levi showed me he’s learning his letters. I didn’t even ask him what the letter “A” was. He saw a picture and immediately said it. I feel bad sometimes, because I feel like I could do more to teach him; but then he shows me he’s learning and I know I’m doing great. He is fed three meals a day with snacks. He loves going to the park and being in the jogging stroller. He loves riding in his toddler Tula. He wouldn’t enjoy those things if I didn’t do it with him. I know he loves me. He hugs me, kisses me, and cuddles with me. Sometimes it’s hard to remind myself that I’m doing a good job. No, I’m not just doing a good job, I’m doing a great job and so are you!
