Patiently Waiting | National Infertility Week

Last week was National Infertility week. I had hoped to post something last week, but I was taking care of my sick boy who had an upper respiratory infection. Fevers all week and puny little boy kept me from working on my blog as I had hoped, but that’s okay. I was there to take care of him and got lots of cuddle time. And then I got sick, so whatever he had, he decided to share it with me because he loves me so much, right? 🙂

But since I didn’t get to post last week, I wanted to take some time to share some statistics about infertility and second infertility. We are 16 months into our journey to have baby #2 and who knows how much longer we will have to wait. But while we do, I want to be a encouragement for those also waiting and educate people out there about second infertility.

I’m not sure how accurate this statement is, but second infertility is WAY more common than most people probably realize. I never knew how common it was until I started walking this journey myself. Now that I’m here, I can name at least 6 friends or acquaintances who have reached out to me to tell me of their second infertility journey. REALLY? I had NO idea! I’ve talked about the weird place you’re in if you deal with second infertility is in a previous post. Just know that it’s more common than you realize, so that friend with a 3 and a half year old might want a second kid, but just can’t yet. 
One in eight women deal with primary or secondary infertility. Think of you and eight of your friends. At least one of you is or will most likely deal with infertility. In a group of two of my best friends, all three of us have dealt with it… and it sucks. But at least I have the support of good friends who I can talk to and pray with who have walked this journey with me. If you’re struggling with infertility, PLEASE do not walk this journey alone!

Many women deal with infertility due to various issues: endometriosis, fibroids, damage to the fallopian tubes, unbalanced hormones, other health issues that keep conception from happening, problems with ovulation, and more. This doesn’t each touch the guy’s aspect of infertility. But there is approximately 20-30% of infertility cases who have unexplained infertility. I don’t know which is worse, knowing there is an issue that will might keep you from being pregnant or just having no clue and no answers. Right now, we are in the latter of the two. I have gotten pregnant and know I can, but here I am unable to again. It’s so hard. I had almost wished during our testing earlier in the year that they could have told us “yes it’s xyz that’s keeping you from getting pregnant and here’s what we can do to help you”, but we didn’t get that. We got “everything looks normal! It’s just taking a little longer this time.” Um… yeah. A LOT longer.


Infertility doesn’t just affect women. Men deal with it as well. Of the documented people out there dealing with explained infertility, 40% is from the female, 40% is from the male, and 20% of the time it comes from both. So it’s really equal in who it affects. Please note that infertility is never anyone’s “fault.” It’s never the male’s fault or the female’s fault. It’s just what it is and no one should ever be blamed for it.

Just something I came across that made me really think about how I feel with second infertility. 

The guidelines for checking to see if you might be dealing with infertility range, but most doctors want you actively trying for at least a year if you are under 35 and at least 6 months if you are over 35. They want you to wait at least that long, because within 12 months on average, at least 85% of couples who have tried to conceive will by 12 months. I HATED waiting that long to see my doctor. I hated it even more because I KNEW I could get pregnant. “Hey, remember that kid I have that I got pregnant with the first month we tried?? Why do I have to wait a year to talk about this??” It’s a long time of waiting when you want something so badly.

I try not to freak out that I’m getting older and as I get older, it naturally gets harder to get pregnant. I know I’m only 31 years old, but already my chances went from 78% when I had Levi to now 63%. I try not to think of the numbers like that, otherwise I would stress and stress doesn’t help getting pregnant- catch 22, huh? So I just forget the numbers, but I share them here as a stat about infertility. 
Thanks for continuing to follow me in this journey and supporting me and reading my blog posts. It means more to me than you can imagine. And if you’re dealing with infertility silently, please reach out to a friend or someone to share your story. There’s too much hurt to deal with on your own and you’re not alone. You’re not broken. You’re not the only out there who has gone through this. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Please let someone hug you and love on you and be a support for you during this time.