Patiently Waiting | To the Lady at the Grocery Store

Dear Well-Intentioned-Lady-at-the-Grocery-Story,

Thanks so much for your interest in my son at the store. I always enjoy getting to show him off and brag about how awesome he is. I know, he’s so cute and adorable. I agree with you on that one! I’m so proud of him and how great he is. And yes, he is always this good at the store and is always this happy. (well most of the time!)

Your comments, however, about how I “need to give him a sibling” weren’t as well received. Trust me, I want nothing more than to give my son a brother or a sister. I love our one-on-one time together and these years I have had with my only child, but my heart has desired to add to our family for a while now. Fourteen months in fact. That’s right, I have been trying for fourteen months to have another baby. Fourteen months of hope and hurt. Fourteen months of frustration. Fourteen months of up and down emotions. Fourteen months of watching people start trying after me to get pregnant and already have their second babies. Fourteen months of “why?”

Trust me, I want nothing more than to give my son a sibling. I want nothing more than to feel another baby growing inside of me; to feel those kicks and movements; to have my son kiss and hug on my belly; to nurse a crying newborn in the middle of the night; to see my son kiss his sibling on the forehead or take a dirty diaper to the trashcan for me; to be spit up on and have bags under my eyes because I’m so exhausted from lack of sleep while chasing around a three year old. I want it all. I want it more than you can imagine.

But the Lord has not seen fit for that to happen just yet. His timing is much greater than our own and I am thankful for the hope we have in that. I pray that He will one day bless us with yet another child, but that’s not even guaranteed. I pray daily for another child and that we can grow our family. I don’t feel like we’re done adding to our family yet.

So I would like to encourage you to be mindful of what you say to random strangers in the grocery store that you do not know. You don’t know their story. You don’t know the desires of their heart or what they might be going through to have a child. For all you know, it could have taken me forever to have my son or I could have had complications that prevented me from having another kid. You just don’t know. Having children is a very personal choice and decision, and the creation of one is even more so when you think about… please understand what you are implying and saying when you tell me (or anyone) that “I should get my son a sibling.”

I don’t say this to embarrass you or call you out, but to help inform you. I know it wasn’t your intent to bring up hurt and sadness by your comment. I get that you were just being friendly and trying to make small talk at the store. I get it. I appreciate you being so sweet to my boy. But please just be careful with what you say in the future. You just never know how much a simple comment can cut so deeply to heart of someone.

Sincerely,

Patiently Waiting